Retelling of the tale of “The Devil and Daniel Webster” with Daniel Webster recast as a gastroenterologist, and Jabez Stone as a glutton who makes a deal with the devil that he would eat nothing but the most delicious food for seven years, and then for another three, but after that, any time he went to the bathroom, he would excrete a bit of his own soul, until finally the devil would have all of it.

Daniel Webster plays Stone’s doctor, tasked with inducing constipation, and then helping Stone get out of his bargain, before Stone can no longer hold it in.  Instead of a trial, it’s a colonoscopy, with the jurors as polyps Webster must carefully biopsy and remove, both with rhetoric and lasers, working his way to Judge John Hawthorne, here a ileocecal cyst. 

Eventually, Webster wins out, but the devil curses him personally, saying that he will eventually die of rectal cancer, and never become president of the AMA.  Webster accepts this, making the devil promise he’ll never return to the lower part of Jabez Stone’s digestive tract.  The devil agrees, though the next day, Stone dies of botulism.